When We Grow
by Balandria
Summary: We only notice things when we get older -- things that could have been there all along.


You're beautiful, of course.

This has never been challenged.

But does it make me sick or wrong for never noticing _how_ beautiful you really are?

Only when you grow do I finally see those sparkling azure eyes, and I think, "This isn't the same person I used to know."

But it is.

You never change.

Maybe you grow more mature, maybe you stop your childish games, but you never lose your _spark_.

This I always noticed.

I've always loved your spark.

That fire within you that makes you so strong -- stronger than I, even though I could kick a group of people's asses easily without breaking a sweat. You don't need that kind of strength -- though lord knows it'd be useful so people would stop trying to molest you when I look away. You're strong enough, and I'll never doubt that alive look in your eyes.

And never do I want it to be taken away.

You know that I'll never tell you any of this -- it's not my style.

But it's still nice to realize that you're not who I thought you were anymore.

I feel selfish around you, and I know I can't help it.

Is it wrong that I hate every person who confesses their love to you?

I really don't care, if it is.

They should realize by now that you'll never be theirs, and yet you'll always be everyone's to have.

You're just like everyone's light; brightening everyone's day and helping people grow to what they want to be.

But they can't tie you down. No one can -- you're such a free spirit.

I'm proud of you, you know. Just for that.

And when I notice how beautiful you _really_ are -- for I've underestimated you once again -- do I realize that I'm just like those horrible people who want to tie you down.

I never look into that feeling though -- it feels dangerous and I don't want us both to get hurt by them.

Just once, just _once_, though...

*-*-*-*-*-*

Haru realizes that Momiji has been gone for far too long.

He runs in the direction that he had left with that brunette boy. And finds the tree, that tree, with Momiji pressed against it, sandwiched between the boy and that tree.

He gives a blank stare -- did Momiji like this boy? He'd thought that maybe Momiji would tell him if he'd ever get a crush on someone. Maybe not, though. Haru wouldn't put it past Momiji, but still, it hurt.

Definitely not as much as it hurt to see Momiji against that tree with a boy pressed against him, his tongue likely in Momiji's mouth.

And only then did Haru notice.

And a second later, the boy was in danger of having his head pulled off by Black Haru.

And just a moment later, is Momiji pulling Haru away from the beaten boy, slowly recovering from his lapse of common sense.

Haru loves how strong Momiji can be.

Momiji brings Haru back to the apartment they'd moved into, to get away from the Sohma family and all the bad memories.

He winces when he feels a pain in his hand and realizes that Momiji is disinfecting the broken skin above his knuckle from where he might have hit that boy in the wrong place a bit too hard.

"I'm sorry." Momiji murmurs, putting a band-aid over it, and kisses the band-aid softly, as Haru falls back onto his bed, tired.

The blond boy snuggles into Haru's side. "You didn't have to hurt him so bad, Haa-kun."

Haru frowns. "He wasn't listening to you."

Haru didn't regret -- and never would regret -- hurting the boy so badly. He understood that his anger was justified by how jealous he had been. Just the thought of anyone other than him holding Momiji like this made him see red. Looking down at the beautiful blond with his beautiful blue eyes which hid such a beautiful mind and soul. His beautiful heart beat inside of his beautiful chest beside Haru's. Even his ugly and horrible past that made him so lost sometimes, just made him more beautiful. He was precious, and he was jealous of the person who'd be able to claim him when they were older.

So he plants his lips on Momiji's, forcing his tongue in between barely parted lips from shock, probably just like that boy had earlier, but he didn't _like_ the thought that the other boy had touched Momiji and he hadn't. He didn't like that someone who could have such superficial thoughts of Momiji had kissed the beautiful blond, that someone so disgusting not even worthy -- and Haru knew that he, too, was not worthy of Momiji -- of the blond could try to change Momiji to something so broken and _used_.

He wanted to erase any feeling or taste of the other boy that Momiji still might have lingering, because he didn't _like_ it. And if he couldn't have Momiji, then maybe he could cleanse Momiji just for a moment. Maybe make the blond just a _bit_ better than before.

Momiji pushed against Haru urgently, and Haru pulled away a moment later, looking at the flushed and confused boy beside him.

"Haa-kun--"

Haru kissed Momiji quickly on the forehead and tucked them both in under the covers.

His hand carded through Momiji's golden locks, and though Momiji tried to ask him a few more times, Haru shushed him.

He didn't want to talk to Momiji, even if they could perhaps figure out what had just happened.

Maybe Momiji would reciprocate his feelings though it was highly unlikely.

But even being rejected during the kiss didn't weigh at him at all.

And especially not when he knew that Momiji had kissed him back before pushing the elder away.

The moment was too perfect and fragile to shatter.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Only when I grew up did I understand that look in your eyes.

Only when I grew up did I realize that I love you.

* * *

**A/N: **Horrible ending, I know, right? Ah, well, it was fun while it lasted and I'm insanely proud of myself for actually completing this. I love this couple, and even with the horrible ending, I'd write the same thing over again if I had the choice. So, please, review!


End file.
